The New Student
by Manga-Fan
Summary: Dende has to go to OSH. What Gohan torture awaits
1. Default Chapter

**The New Student--- KAMI! **

****

Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ, except for characters of my own creation.

                This is hopefully going to be a good fic. I hope that you enjoy this. In this fic I am basically going to make it that Dende has to go to OSH with Gohan. OH, the humanity. This probably won't make sense so bare with me. Enjoy

Chapter 1: I Have To What!

            "Umm, ..Dende," Mr. Popo said. The genie was looking a little nervous.

            "Yes, Mr. Popo." Dende questioned. The God of Earth was currently laying in a hammock drinking his Piña Collate. 

            "The Grand Kai is concerned that you don't care enough about the Earth's problems." Mr. Popo said calmly. "So, he says that you have to go to high school for two weeks."

            "I have to what!" Dende screeched as he fell off his hammock and spilled his Piña Collate on his white robes.

~*~

            "Good morning class," Mrs. Price greeted her class warmly. "We have a new class and you'll never guess who it is."

            Gohan's mind was racing. 'Don't be any of the Z- Fighters, please Dende don't let it be any of them.'

            "It's KAMI!" Mrs. Price yelled. Over the gasps of surprise from the class no one heard Gohan sobbing pathetically.

            Dende walked into the room looking quite angry. 'What did I do to deserve this' he thought. Then images of everything he had done to Gohan in the past flashed through his head. 'Oh. Right.'

            "Okay Kami," Mrs. Price began.

            "Just call me Dende," Dende told her, "everyone I know does."

            "Oh....Alright....Dende." Mrs. Price was blushing deeply. "Why don't you take a seat next to......"

            Everyone in the class was hoping to sit next to Kami. The only one who didn't have his hand raised was Gohan who was trying to hide under his desk so as not to be seen. Didn't work, though.

            "Gohan....that you?" Dende yelled out loud. "Hey! How ya been."

            "Heh, heh. Hi...De..Dende." Gohan said. Needless to say the class was shocked. Gohan actually knew Kami on a first name basis.

            "I'll just sit over there next to my pal, Gohan, if that's okay," Dende said to the teacher, who was in shock that Gohan knew Kami.

            "Yes, i...i...it's okay go ahead." She stuttered.

            "Thank you," Dende said as he raced up the stairs to take the empty seat next to Gohan. As he did he noticed a very attractive raven- haired girl staring intensely at Gohan. She seemed to notice that he saw what she was doing and turned away blushing.

            "Gohan, last time I saw you was when I made all the Z-Fighters come to your school and publicly humiliate you. Ha ha ha...a ...ha." Dende had stopped laughing due to the fact that everyone was staring at him with looks of horror, respect, and hatred(if you were Gohan). Dende gulped at the site of Gohan's Suddenly green eyes, his hair remained black though.

            "Yeah, and the last time I saw you was hiding in a corner on the Lookout begging for a quick painless death." Gohan retaliated.

Needless to say, class was finished extremely quickly while everyone looked at Gohan with horror at the thought of him trying to kill Kami. Dende, however, felt it was time to keep quiet and say nothing till the end of class.


	2. Chapter 2 HomeEC Class Of DOOM!

Title- **The New Student--- KAMI!**

Author- Manga-Fan

Disclaimer- I do not own DBZ, no matter how much I wish I did.

Welcome to the exciting second chapter of "The New Student". I really hope you all enjoyed the first part, I had a lot of fun writing it. Without further ado, here we go.

Chapter 2- Home-EC. Class Of DOOM!

"...and so then Mr. Popo told me that the Grand Kai though I wasn't doing my job properly so I now have to come here for two weeks. What a load of bullshit huh, Gohan" Dende had just finished explaining why he was at OSH to Gohan despite the fact that people were still gawking at both of them. Videl did not want to question Gohan while he was in the presence of Kami. 

'That something I guess.' He thought.

Yeah. It's better than that time I got Vegeta come here and blast throw you in a wall, and you remained without a scratch. A familiar, but annoying Namekian voice said in his head.

Dende stop reading my.... Wait! You made Vegeta come here? Gohan asked Dende. Dende had a frightened look on his face. Luckily he was saved by a perky, blond girl who, at that moment, came tearing down the hall until latching onto Gohan's arm. Not one to miss an opportunity to make Gohan's life a living HFIL, Dende gave Chichi a unique ability right at that moment.

~*~

Chichi had just put down the grocery bags when suddenly a weird feeling hit her. She saw Gohan hugging a blond girl and immediately took off towards the school. Unbeknownst to her, was an after-image that uttered one word. "Grandchildren.' 

~*~

"Erasa, can you please let go. Your cutting off the circulation to my arm." Gohan stated. The blond let go, much to her disappointment, but immediately perked back up.

"GohanisittruethatyouknowKamiandheknowsyoucausethatwouldmakeyousopopular." She said all very fast. (A/N: Gohan is it true that you know Kami and he knows you cause that would make you so popular.)

"Um... Yeah, kind of." He answered. Dende, knowing very well he probably wouldn't make it past the first day let alone the full two weeks, had an evil smirk on his rivaling Vegeta's.

"What do you mean kind of, Gohan. Me and you met when we were both five or six. Been friends ever since, before I even became Kami," Dende said grinning. (A/N: How old is Dende? I always thought he and Gohan were the same age.)

Gohan sweatdropped as Erasa squealed loudly.

"My boyfriend knows Kami! My boyfriend knows Kami!" 

Suddenly both Gohan's and Dende's ears heard something. It was very low but getting louder.

"Dende, what is that?".

"If I tell you, you have to promise not to kill me, Gohan."

"GGGRRRAAANNNDDDCCCHHHIIILLLDDDRRREEENNN!"

"Dende! You wouldn't.... You couldn't.... You did," Gohan said with a hint of fear in his voice. Dende just nodded. He had thought that Chichi would at least wait until Gohan was home.

~*~

Gohan and Dende made it just barely to home economics class. Mrs. Whipp, the teacher, gave them a smile.

"I can't believe you could be that evil, Dende," Gohan said to the young guardian. "You've been spending time with Vegeta haven't you."

"Yup!" Dende had that Vegeta smirk once again. He brought out another Piña Collate and began drinking. 

~*~

Five minutes earlier...

"Where is my baby!" Chichi said as she tore through the halls of OSH. Videl seeing this crazy lady decided to intervene. 

"Look lady, I don't know who you are, but...." She never finished that sentence because Chichi slammed passed her. Videl was thrown into a group of lockers, leaving her imprint . Most students gasped until a history buff recognized Chichi.

"Isn't that the daughter of the Ox-King, Princess Chichi?"

"Gohan there you are. Where's my future daughter-in-law?" Chichi yelled at her now nearly deaf son. Everyone was sweatdropping at this point.

"Mom. What the hell are you talking about? ....Dende!" Gohan turned on the little namek only to find him gone. Erasa could not believe Gohan was related to this 'banshee woman'. What was even more scary was when she brought out a frying pan from out of her pocket and began hitting Gohan with it.

"Don't you dare swear in front of me young man!" Chichi yelled. Suddenly there was a yell from down the hallway.

"Chichi! Your daughter-in-law went this way!" Dende yelled. Chichi was gone in a flash. No one even saw her move away from the fetal position Gohan. She did however manage to push past Dende, throwing the Namekian into a wall.

~*~

Now both fully healed, demi-sayian and Kami were partnered up to make a peach cobbler. 

"Okay, Dende. You get to make the filling while I work on the crust. Okay?" Gohan asked as he handed Dende the directions for the filling. As soon as Gohan's back was turned, Dende crumbled up the directions and tossed it over his shoulder hitting a now badly bruised Videl. This small hit was enough to knock the almost unconscious Videl out. "I don't need any stupid directions. I'm Kami!'

Dende reached for the can of peaches, as he grabbed for them though he missed and grabbed a can of pickled olives. When Dende saw what was inside the can he only thought, ' These are peaches? Oh well I guess if they are what I grabbed then they must be peaches.'

He poured the olives into a mixing bowl. 'Hmmm? What would go next....Sugar!' He looked up to see three canisters, side-by-side, filled with white substances. ' Only one way to choose. Enie, menie, miny, moe....' He chose the middle one. What he failed to notice was that it was labeled 'SALT'.

'Now all I need is a couple of eggs, some yeast, and some vegetable oil.' Dende looked around and saw some eggs sitting at the bottom of a barrel by his table. 'Who would throw perfectly good eggs in a can filled with waste.' He thought as he reached into a trash can and got out the three rotten eggs that had been thrown earlier by Mrs. Whipp. He cracked them open and got a horrible sent out of them but still mixed them in with the salt and peaches. 

He saw a can which he hoped was filled with yeast. He took three spoonfuls of the white thick substance. What he failed to notice were the fading letters that read 'LARD'. Finally he reached for a small yellow tube that read 'MUSTARD'. 'Well, mustard seeds are vegetables aren't they?' He squeezed a whole bunch of the stuff into his now growing disaster.

"Done with that filling yet, Dende?" Gohan asked. He was surprised when Dende said that he was. "Okay.... Pour it into here," Gohan slid a crust which was in a foil plate over to Dende, "then cover it with the top part I laid on the cookie sheet. Then just pop it into the oven for twenty minutes."

"You got it Gohan"

~*~

"Okay class. I'm coming around to taste the completed projects." Mrs. Whipp said out loud. She noticed that only Gohan and Dende were done. She made her way over to them and smiled. "Are you two done?" She asked. They nodded.

"Okay the I'd better taste this just to get it out of the way." She said as she cut out a small piece of the cobbler and bit into it. She was on the ground clutching her stomach in pain. "Call...the...hospital!" She managed to gasp.

Gohan immideiatedly turned around and yelled,"DENDE!" Dende, however was no longer there.

~*~

Dende was outside the class lauphing his head off. He did not even notice the shadow that was now looming over him.

And that's all. Please R and R. Thanks to all of you who reviewed.


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